she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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