Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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