so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
