I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
