Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Randomize
