im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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