Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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