So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
