walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
