A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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