This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
