I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
