The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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