she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
vagina is talking i cant
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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