Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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