did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
