She is in my trunk
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
