Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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