Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
i now understand why vodka
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
