she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
where are you?
Hypothermia
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
So vagazzling was a success
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
