Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Vodka?
Forever.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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