Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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