so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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