i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
