Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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