So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
