Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize
