I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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