Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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