I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
