This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
