I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
There was a lot of him and a little penis
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
