Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
