Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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