I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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