is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
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