ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
