i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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