I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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