Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
