Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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