Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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