it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
