SEEEEXXX PLEASE
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
