Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
