Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
