with your own penis?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize