Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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