There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
