He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
