You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
